Well, it's my second sleepless night in a row. There is no reason for the not sleeping. I do all of the right things-- plenty of exercise, limited caffeine, a book before bedtime. Yet some nights my mind just will not turn off. You know what it's like. I look at my phone more than is healthy, and watch form emails roll in from depressing places like Snapfish, Daily Candy, and Banana Republic (unsubscribe, unsubscribe, unsubscribe.) It's deceptively lonely at 4am.
So I find myself here, at four-in-the-freaking-morning, cutting my losses by making coffee and watching old episodes of The West Wing until the sun rises and cools my nervous, whirling, working mind.
Springtime is slowly shifting away and this city is announcing its big, shiny summer plans. I've lived in my own little rented studio for an entire year now and have finally managed to get the people at the fancy wine store down the street to remember my name.
Two of my best friends will be back in the city come Monday, and another is leaving me for the left coast. Annie moved into a place with a garden, and Kate and Helen scored a Williamsburg balcony. Holly and I were discussing our summer goals a few months ago, and the only one I could really think of was that I wanted to make margaritas-- good margaritas, with real limes and agave nectar-- for friends at my apartment. I also want to go to the beach, and I want to read more Hemingway and I want to dance on a rooftop at some point. That Sleigh Bells album from last summer entered my playlist again-- makes a girl want to dance!
I've also started avoiding the subway and walking to work-- which is much easier than one would think-- and the city is shrinking before me. Cobble Hill to Brooklyn Heights to Downtown Brooklyn, across the Brooklyn Bridge, into Wall Street, Chinatown, and SoHo. It's become a sort of mantra in my mornings and brings me more joy than is probably normal. I know I should get a bike, and probably will soon, but for now the walking works. Solvitur ambulando, as the Romans used to say: the solution comes through walking.